Jul 15, 2005

"Gladys" needs to learn how to scrap...

I have the "honor" of living by the "Gladys Kravitz" (think Bewitched) of my neighborhood. Within days of moving into our home 4 years ago, she started telling me what was wrong with my yard, where my kids should put their toys, where we should park our cars and what was going on in MY yard that I may have "overlooked". Her husband is no better.

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They are retired (actually laid off but not really looking for jobs), in their late 50's and have NEVER had children. They live in a neighborhood full of children. Therein lies the problem... I tell my dh that they probably have a wagon/cage in their garage like the King and Queen on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. If they could, the would put all the children in there and ship them off.

When we got home from our vacation last week, she immediately came over, knocked on our door and said, "Is that GARBABGE on the side of your house?" We live on a corner and the neighborhood teens have decided that since that's a pretty private place, they would make it their hangout - they park, sit on my lawn and then empty their cars of trash before driving off. Let's just say that I LOVE my "automatic" sprinklers... . Anyway, I said, "I have no idea, I just got home!" She said, "Oh, well, apparently, there's garbage over there." She's probably been obsessing about it for days. She occupied herself by calling 911 every time a car with loud music drove through the neighborhood (no joke).

Yesterday, her dh wanders over while I am out watering my hanging baskets. He said, "Did your boys spread bread crumbs in your back yard before you left?" I said, "Yes - it was bread that would have molded while we were gone." He said, "Well, don't do that again, it attracts rats and I had to go over and pick it all up." I had to BITE my tongue to not say, "Oh, well, we thought we'd give them a roll to go with the cherries, apples, zuchinni, peas and four kinds of berries we have growing back there. It completes our whole "Rat Buffet" landscaping concept" Good grief... I just looked at him and said, "It was for the birds and we've never seen a rat."

I guess I should perform a community service and get "Gladys" a hobby so she and her dh will stop watching my house and yard. Anyone know of a line of scrapbook products that will nicely accent surveillance photos????


mary said...

Sorry but that is one person who does not need to scrapbook! Can you imagine -- she'd have an album of "evidence!"


mindakms@msn.com said...

Okay too funny! I also have a retired neighbor who keeps a watchful eye on our property (which his wife used to live on, imagine the extra ownership rights that gives him!!!) and we also live on the corner and have a child, with all the fun yard stuff that comes with that. Your Gladys is much worse though...and we are moving next month...to an apartment...where we will have no yard...