Mar 13, 2008

Super Powers!

What's your super power? I believe everyone has a super power that amazes! Some of them are as of yet undiscovered while others are currently in use.

Mine is the super human ability to find things. I'm not talking about SEEING things (you know, men can stand in front of an open cupboard with the thing they are looking for glowing at them like it's radioactive and STILL not see it vs women who can see it immediately). It's a scientific fact that women notice details that men don't. I take that one step further to say that women MOVE things when men don't in order to find what they are looking for. If it's not in the front of the cupboard or on top of the blanket, Mark will never move anything to look further. The joke at our house is that a uterus is also a GPS.

My super power is the ability to know where something is. I literally can see the location on a fuzzy screen in my head - EVEN WHEN I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS! It's freaky - but it's also annoying because after nearly 21 years of marriage, Mark has absolutely come to rely 100% on my super power, therefore, he doesn't attempt to find anything himself, he just asks me. And, like any super power, frequent use can be exhausting. I get him back, though, because I can't do math so I don't even attempt to - I just ask the Human Calculator, aka, Mark. That's his Super Power.

A few examples:

Mark loses his wallet - not really LOSES it, he misplaces it. Last week, he misplaced it and ran all over the house panicking (because he always fears he left it on the counter someplace). I, on the other hand, calmly start looking for it. Some process in my brain starts going and I start methodically thinking about all the possible places it could be. I found it within minutes (while Mark was pulling the car apart outside). I walked upstairs and moved a pile of clothes I had sorted to wash and there it was - under the pile. I have found his wallet under pillows, swallowed by the couch, stuck under the car seat, in the kids' rooms... you get the drift.

Just now, he came home for lunch and had forgotten to take his coat to work this morning. He was running all over the house looking for it before he went back to work. I stopped and thought for a second and said, "Upstairs on the bed". He went up and it was in the bedroom but on the chair NEXT to the bed. When he came down, I was striking my best SUPER HERO pose and he was gloating, "It wasn't ON THE BED! It was ON THE CHAIR!" So..... and his point was....

Last week, I found his iPod ear buds. I hadn't even put them where I found them. But, while he's tearing the house apart, I walked to the kitchen and pulled them out of a container that has "miscellaneous" stuff in it. I let him continue to dig through his drawers for a while so he would TRULY appreciate my super power.

The mantra at our house when I use my super human powers to find things is, "...hope I never die..." If I did, he would be in a permanent state of panic for the rest of HIS life. If he dies first, I'd just get a calculator...


Focus said...

Kim, you got me laughing out loud on this posting, but I gotta ask - does Mark ever read your blog? ;-)

shaina said...

We are so very alike!! I have the same super power. It's amazing how I can find things! However, my husband is most definitely NOT a calculator. He is my super accent. He can say any accent to perfection. British, aussie, hick, german, etc. amazing, that guy. Though I'm not sure what good it does other than make me impressed.