That's Outrageous!

Here are some "Wacky Patents" that I ran across recently - including one very bizarre Scrapbook-related one. Some things just beg to NOT be patented. If you've worked anything through the United States Patent and Trademark Office as I have (my trademarked name - ScrapBiz), you know that it's not easy nor is it quick. You have to REALLY want to own something to actually go through that hassle.

1. "Method for Swinging" - How DID we manage to swing before this guy patented it? Should I send my kids to the park with some spare change so they can pay up should they chose to use his patented method?
2. "Motorized Ice Cream Cone" - for the ultimate in laziness - eating Ben and Jerry's without even moving your neck! I bet Disneyland will start renting those along with the strollers I see all the obese 7 year olds being pushed around in.
3. "Method for moistening a postage stamp" - this must assume that your tongue is busy with the rotating ice cream cone. Actually, the USPS doesn't even have non-adhesive stamps anymore. Note the suggestion that the thing be in the shape of the human tongue...
4. Anti-eating Face Mask - DO NOT wear this while attempting to use the Motorized Ice Cream Cone - I see disaster... I can't help but wonder if Lucy - the patent owner - wears this. Anyone in Sacramento???
5. "Squashbooks" - yes, those little foldable Origami-like photo albums we all make with about $2 in paper and 30 minutes of time are PATENTED by someone with too much time on their hands in Oregon. Did they invent them? Absolutely not! They were in the scrapbook industry LONG before the patent process was started in 2001. Technical drawings and legalese descriptions cost thousands of dollars for patent applicants. But, the patent holder apparently is married to an attorney who must not have had anything better to do.

There are several scrapbook patents that have been issued. Patents are not new to the industry. However, this one just seems very odd since it is really a simple paper craft that was around for a long time. Hmmmm, I think I'll patent Paper Bag Albums. Anyone who staples lunch sacks together to make a scrapbook must now pay me a percentage. Oh, and while I'm at it, I think I'll patent Serendipity Squares. I can see it now, "A Method for Tearing and Adhering Torn Paper in Random Patterns to Create Decorative Elements in Various Shapes for the Purpose of Embellishing a Page Which Chronicles the Photographic History of a Person or Group of People also known as a Family".

Bet ya' $10 I could find an attorney to do it...